The Life Cycle of a Flower
by le hipshaker
Summary: The life and times of Lily Evans. The story of a girl everyone knows, but seldom know well.
1. Default Chapter

_Prologue _

She loved to dance. When she was younger it was for the attention and the beautiful clothing, the look and feel of her satin shoes and pink hair ribbons. She made her parents so proud. Her father would throw her flowers and her mother would shout 'Lily, lily! Mon beau ballerine! Mon fille, mon danseur fille!' As a nine year old she would pretend to be embarrassed by her mother's shouting, even though it secretly delighted her.

Everything changed when her father stopped coming to her recitals, when he would leave home for weeks at a time. Her beautiful house turned dark and dusty, her beautiful mother fell into despair. After a while Lily's father stopped coming home entirely. Ten was such a dark time for Lily. She began to live her life like a performance; she told herself she is a princess and wished fiercely for a new life. Now Lily can only dance in her room, her expensive ballet private school life disappeared as suddenly as her father.

All that changed when Lily turned eleven. One day an owl arrived at her sister's window, addressed to Lily Evans, bedroom with a bay window. After Petunia had read the letter and deemed it a hoax she gave it to Lily, hoping to cheer her . During the first decade or so of Lily's life Petunia loved her very much, Petunia was all Lily had left.

The letter was a door. A magical door that opened Lily's world up to a whole new world, one without fathers who left without saying goodbye and dance studios that didn't have to be payed for. Lily left for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with high expectations.

The next four years of Lily's life were not at all what she had anticipated. In primary school Lily had been a top student, school subjects came easily too her and she never had to study. At Hogwarts she had to work everyday to stay on top, everyday her insecurities healed a little bit more, and everyday the divide between Lily and her family became a little bit stronger. It was at Hogwarts where Lily was nurtured and where she made friends.

Friends. A more beautiful thing had never existed, according to Lily. In dance school everything was a competition, at Hogwarts everything was...indescribable. Lily had made two great friends in her four years, Alice and Belinda. The three girls were very close, Alica and Belina were the family Lily missed nine months out of the year. The jokes they played were kept in their small circle, the secrets they told were never shared with outsiders.

And still Lily danced. Without the financial burden of Lily all year round, Lily's mother, Marianne could pay for cheap ballet lessons at the local studio. Every summer the akward silences that had built up during the school year would vanish and what was left of the Evans family would be whole again. And every start of the school year would be a bitter endinng until December, when Lily came home for holidays.

This is where the tale of Lily starts. In August, 1976, a girl with long red hair and a ridiculous looking tutu walks slowly down the sidewalk on a street of faded glory...

**Author's Note: **I've got the first chapter about halfway written, look for it on Wed. at the latest.

**French Translation:** Lily, Lily! My beautiful ballerina! My girl, my dancing girl!


	2. Chapter 1 Of Horses and Lobsters

As I neared my house and the end of my freedom for the day, I pondered. I don't generally like to use the word 'pondered' because it either sounds like you are a conceited imbecile or you wanted to add a five-cent word into the equation. Nevertheless I pondered. I guess you could say my outlook on life is strange. I live for the school year and for my dance lessons. I don't particularly love my family. I appreciate the things they sometimes do for me, but what I feel for them is more affection. In my mind I have two sisters, Alice Bloomquist and Belinda Green. We share no common last name, appearance, or personality traits...only laughter and secrets. I love a challenge, or as my mother so delicately puts it 'I need a hard kick delivered to my stubborn arse'. I see school as a challenge, new dance steps as a challenge, and coming home every summer a challenge. To say I do well in school is putting it lightly. I'm a prefect and get top grades in every class, excepting Defense Against the Dark Arts.

My name is Lily Evans, I am 15 years and I am a witch. To a muggle it sounds like I'm either a cold-hearted bitch or an old hag with green skin and sparkly red shoes.

I'm neither. I am a student at Hogwarts as I said before, a damn good one at that.

At this point in my thoughts I began to wonder if I was conceited. That's one thing I can't stand, you see—being conceited. It's one of the reasons I don't hold well with boys, most of the ones at my school are bloody egotistical. Well, if I was being completely honest with myself--which is essential to proper pondering, I had to admit that boys intimidated me. I mean, they're a whole different sex.... Yes, well obviously they're a whole different sex, but boys are the one subject in school I just can't understand.

I walked into the house I lived in with my mother and sister and quietly shut the door. I loved moments of quiet...I might have even taken a nap and taken some more time to ponder. Unfortunately, my sister, Petunia, interrupted my thoughts.

"Lily," screeched my sister, "I wish you would hurry up with dinner. I'm entertaining company tonight."

Ah yes, I had completely forgotten about Petunia's company. The charming dinner guest for tonight was a man named Vernon, who on first glance largely resembles a particularly ugly lobster. I guess that was fitting for my sister, a woman whom heaven seemed dead set against making more horse-like everyday.

Apparently Petunia took my silence as a sign that I in fact had forgotten and wasn't going to make dinner tonight. "Lily! Did you hear me? This is bloody important...and it's your night to cook! Lily?"

"Yes, darling sister. You're dulcet tones have reached my ears." Well, no reply to that one. Maybe dulcet was too big of a word for her.

I guess not...as Petunia stomped into the foyer (her face a lovely shade of purple, might I add) I flew into the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Petty. I'll make dinner, I was just—" I broke off in mid sentence as I caught sight of my mother.

There sat Vonette Evans. The very picture of...well, of nothing good, basically. She sat in her old, graying bathrobe, her hair tied up in a ridiculous looking bow.

"Mon mari, où l'avez-vous il, idiots filles. Mes images, vous les avez volés!," she muttered.

It was never good when mother spoke French. I'm ashamed too say that I didn't speak French. Petty was the only one who could deal with her in a crisis.

"Petty! Petty! Mother's speaking French...something about her husband."

It was best to find out what was bothering my mother right away, otherwise she would be wondering around the house for weeks. The bills would go unpaid and the lights would be forbidden from use.

"Oh hell, I was hoping she wouldn't notice.... Êtes-vous bien, mere?," If there was one thing I appreciated my sister for, it was her ability to smooth over the rough bits of life.

As they chattered in French (my mother bursting into tears several different times), I started to cook. Petunia had given me strict instructions; I was to serve mashed potatoes, peas, and a roast. Petty trusts me with two things: cooking and cleaning. I've always been very neat and tidy; ever sense I was a small child.

Suddenly, with a kiss for Petty and a glare for me, my mother made a dramatic exit. You could always tell when she wanted to draw attention to herself. She would swish her clothes and flip her gold hair over her shoulders. Speaking of children, my mother might as well have been one.

"What was she so upset about," I asked as I added butter to the potatoes.

"It was quite dim of me, looking back on it...I, well, I put away the pictures in the living room. I bought a fresh bouquet to brighten things up before Vernon comes.," she sighed and lowered herself into a chair.

"That was dim of you, Pet. How on earth did you manage to calm her down?," The roast went into the oven, the peas into the pot. Petty really should have known better.

The pictures in our living room were the only thing mother was particular about, other than the clothes she wore. They were old photographs of mother when she lived in France, or when she traveled through Italy. Her favorite one was her wedding picture. Ah, so that's why she was asking about her husband. She talked to the image of him like he was listening and answering back. And it was always in French, the language he didn't speak a word of.

"I promised to give her all my spending money from this month," she groaned. "I'm taking her into London next week for a spot of shopping."

Petty must really like Vernon, I thought too myself. I wonder how she's going to keep mother on her best behavior, probably lock her in the cupboard under the stairs. I wouldn't put it past Pet, when I was five she shut me in with some biscuits and a light to keep me company so she could play with my new dolly.

An hour later mother was next door, playing bridge with the senile neighbor. Petunia had scrubbed every inch of the house and was wearing her new outfit. For the momentous occasion of Vernon coming to dinner, I put my hair into a messy bun and put on a nice jumper.

"And don't mention anything about you being a witch, I haven't told him yet I don't want to scare this one away." Petunia's list of things-not-to-do-and/or-say-in-front-of-Vernon had finally come to an end.

I set the table with our nice tablecloth (no holes!) and washed my hands. I felt like I was part of a muggle film, the doorbell rang right on time.

As Petunia hustled to the door, I tried to remember everything she had told me. I really didn't hate my sister and if Vernon made her happy, than so be it. As long as Petunia had given him a list of things-not-to-do-and/or-say-in-front-of-Lily I would be fine.

"Vernon, darling come into the kitchen. I want you to meet my sister, Lily." Petty had never cooed at me that way, even as a baby I'm sure.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," I smiled and extended my hand to the Lobster, Petunia watched anxiously from behind.

Vernon gave me a firm grip and a look of appraisal. Hopefully, we all passed inspection.

"It smells delicious in here. Petunia told me she's teaching you how too cook. I hope you took note of this meal!" said Vernon.

Well, that burned a bit. But, if Petty had to portray me as the bumbling sister, so be it.

Petunia gave a strained chuckle and we all unceremoniously sat down to eat. As the Horse and the Lobster chatted about drills (The Lobster seemed to have a strange obsession with them), Vernon's job at the bank, and golf I gave minimal answers and nods. They really were fit for each other, bloody boring as hell.

"Petty, would you pass the potatoes?" I asked as a slight lull in the conversation approached. I didn't want things to get awkward.

The Lobster obviously had different plans.

"What's this Petty nonsense? I was under the impression that you were 15, not a toddler still in your nappies, Lily." The Lobster gave me a look that said he was far too impressed with himself.

Petty smiled nervously. "It's just a nickname she's given me, school girl nonsense...she's at that age, you know." No, Petunia, I don't know. Enlighten me on what 'age' I am.

"Oh, young girls and their frolics. Lily, when you find a nice young lad to settle down with he'll want to make sure that you're the perfect wife material. That means all...er; interesting fashion choices and hairstyles need to be done away with. You'll never find someone acceptable while you look like that!" I pushed down my strong desire to ask him why he was talking like a fifty year old instead of a 21 year old.

And why wasn't Petty defending me? I knew we didn't share similar tastes in fashion, music, and such but I was her sister! Surely I rated higher than this tub of lard. But then I realized, after watching Petunia chuckle uncomfortably and engage The Lobster in some more meaningless chatter that I no longer knew where I stood.

"I guess that means the nice young lad, as you put it won't take well to the fact that I'm a witch either.," I said

Well, that certainly was a conversation stopper. Vernon gave me an odd look and turned deliberately too Petunia.

"I say, I'll never be able to introduce her too my family when she's like this. She's completely insane. My family will never accept how much lower in social standing I'm marrying.," said The Lobster.

CRASH

A painting of the French Riviera crashed down onto The Lobster's pompous head. Petunia screamed and ducked under the table. I took a deep breath; I knew I had caused the accident. I was sure I had violated the decree of underage magic. How would I explain this to the Headmaster? How would Petunia explain this to The Lobster?

Well, the latter at least was answered right away.

"THIS HOUSE IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE, PETUNIA...PACK YOUR THINGS. WE'RE GOING TO MY PARENT'S" The Lobster dashed out the front door, the painting still trailing in bits behind him.

Petunia gave me a horrible look. "You are never welcomed under a roof where I reside again, do you hear me you disgusting freak? I never want to see your face again."

And with that, she fled. I felt hot tears going down my cheeks of their own accord. What would mother do without Petunia? How could she be so selfish, how could she let him insult us that way?

Tap.

Simply wonderful, now I was imagining sounds. Maybe The Lobster was right, we were an insane bunch...I really didn't know what to do now that—

Tap.

I swerved angrily towards the noise and the window. Perched loftily on our windowsill was an owl. Probably a letter sentencing me to expulsion. I let the owl in and opened it anyways.

Unbelievable, it was just my Hogwarts letters, with a list of the books and items I would need to start my fifth year. It felt a bit heavy, like someone had stuffed extra papers into the envelope. I shook the envelope with a bit of tired frustration; this whole night could go to hell.

Suddenly, something fell out of the envelope and onto the floors my sister had worked so hard to make sparkle. I stooped over to get a closer look; it was a Prefect's badge with my name on it.

My studies had always been important to me. Every time my grades were less than perfect I vowed to study harder next time, I might even check and see if I could redo the assignment. Many of my friends would laugh at me for being so excited for making Prefect, but I didn't care. I decided it was the first good thing that had happened all summer long. The Lobster was an idiot; he and my sister could enjoy their lives together in I'm-an-arse world, as far as I was concerned.

I spat into the sink, envisioning the face if my sister and soon to be brother-in-law. The Horse and The Lobster, never had I met a more perfect match.

I carefully picked up my Hogwarts things and went to my bedroom. When mother came home she would find dinner laid out for her and the house beautifully clean. She would also find both daughters gone, for the time being.

It was time to take a break from the house turned hell hole.

**Author's Note: **Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the review(s?). The last time I checked, there was only one. It made me feel very happy. The French translation is a bit rough around the edges this time around, I apologize if I have horrified anyone who speaks French.

**French Translation:** My husband, where have you put it, idiot girls. My pictures, You have stolen them.


	3. Chapter 2 A Damsel in Distress

_Recap:_

I carefully picked up my Hogwarts things and went to my bedroom. When mother came home she would find dinner laid out for her and the house beautifully clean. She would also find both daughters gone, for the time being.

It was time to take a break from the house turned hellhole.

Every summer, to help pay for my dance lessons I held a job as a lifeguard for the local swimming pool. It gave me sunburn and an anxiety attack every time a little boy or girl couldn't swim, but it paid damn well. I figured that my savings combined with my five or six paychecks would last me the rest of the summer. I packed all my school things into my trunk and sat down to write a letter to my mother.

**Mère, **

**Petty and I have decided to take a holiday in Brighton. We've left a bit of money on the table. Petty is sorry about the shopping trip. See you during Christmas. **

**beaucoup d'amour,**

**Lily**

She always insisted that I use a little bit of French. It was important not to upset her when you did something unexpected. I didn't want to add the extra worry of what mother would do if things unsettled her.

Well, that would have to do for now. Once I reached Diagon Alley I would send a letter in the post and a tenner. I pulled my trunk down the stairs and laid the letter and 25 pounds on the table. It was a shame I had to support mother as well as myself, otherwise I might've actually taken that holiday in Brighton. I had never seen the sea.

I walked onto the sidewalk and took one last look at the house. Now that my anger had cooled down a bit I wondered if this was the right thing to do. An image of The Lobster entered my mind. Yes, I definitely needed a break.

When I visited Alice last summer we used the Knight Bus to get to her home in Durham. Alice's family was very well off. Her father was an unspeakable and her mother owned a lingerie store for muggles. I loved Alice's family; they treated her like a she was part of the family, a distant niece or something. I had only spoken with Belinda's parents once or twice. They were muggles and bankers, so Belinda had assured me they were dull as doorknobs. Maybe when I found a room in Diagon Alley I could owl them both to come visit.

A door slammed behind me and brought me out of my quiet reverie. Better get a move on if I didn't want to meet up with mother. If my memory served me right, Alice has stuck out her wand hand and the bus had just appeared. Appeared with quite a bang if I was remembering everything clearly. I braced myself and put out my left hand.

Nothing happened. I put my hand out again...nothing. I gave it a great flourish, I snapped, I waved. To absolutely no avail. Perfect. I try to leave and look what happens. I still wanted to go to Diagon Alley, but how would I get there? I lived in the western part of Kent, London wasn't terribly far, but the cab fair would still be big. I couldn't fly—I had no broom. Calling on Alice or Belinda was out of the question, they lived to far and it was to late at night. I cursed my luck; a cab was the only way out.

The house was quiet when I walked back in, the telly beckoned to me from its corner of the room. I was familiar with the local cab company, I had used it many times to pick up mother. After I hung up I surveyed the house. Would mother be all right without me? Surely Petunia would come back, she was many things but she wasn't completely hateful. Then again, Petunia wouldn't be expecting me to leave. She would know mother would be fine until September 1st, when I left for school. I heard a horn honk outside and I grabbed my things. Time to embark on my adventure...ha, more like time to throw caution into the winds.

After a terrifying and bumpy cab ride I finally made it to London. With a tap of my wand onto the brick wall my world was open again. I never realize how much I miss Hogwarts and the magical life until come back. Summer was hell, but if it meant spending 9 months at Hogwarts it was worth it.

After Tom had settled me into a room at the Leaky Cauldron I decided to owl Alice and Belinda. Hopefully their families wouldn't mind if they left for school a little bit earlier than expected. I was already getting lonely, I wasn't used to not having company. It was ironic; whenever I was with my family all I wished for was peace and a little quiet. Now that I was by myself all I wanted was some entertainment. I took out two pieces of parchment and a quill; it was time to get rid of all the icky feelings that had built up inside of me during the summer.

**Alice, **

**I've left home a bit early this summer. Petunia and her horrible beau drove me over the edge—my psyche is already quite fragile, you know. I pulled a painting down over his head; it was really quite a moment of greatness. I'm not taking the mickey; I _did_ do accidental magic and cause a painting to topple over. Do me a favor and ask your father if he's heard anything about a violation in the underage wizardry decree. Then, do me another favor and ask him if you can spend sometime with me. I'm holed up in The Leaky Cauldron until school starts. If I don't get suitable company (not that Tom the innkeeper isn't suitable, all he wants to talk about are cats. He and Arabella Figg are quite suited) I will waste away and will only be a shadow of my former, vibrant self. I'm quite serious, rescue me. This might become my last will and testament. **

**Pitifully yours, **

**Lily**

I wrote a similar letter to Linnie, a pet name Alice had given to Belinda last term and called it a night. I really was tired. Running away from home can take a lot out of you. Tomorrow morning I would go down to the Owl Emporium and mail the letters and then I would take care of the homework I hadn't finished.

Early the next morning, after I had showered and dressed I sent my letters to Alice and Belinda. I silently willed the girls to respond immediately. There was nothing to do in Diagon Alley once you had been there several times before. I would have rather been in Hogsmeade, in fact just thinking about butter beer made my stomach grumble. I hadn't eaten anything this morning and last night's dinner from hell seemed far away.

Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor would have to do for now. I'm very partial to their mint and grape jelly sundae. As the cheery looking woman at the counter took my order I realized I didn't have any money to pay. When sending the owls to my friends I hadn't wanted to take any chances, I used their best owls. Up until now I had thought I had enough money for an ice cream.

"That'll be five sickles, dearie," she held out her hand. I held out mine, not that the futile gesture helped. I really wasn't good in these situations.

"I...er, it turns out that I don't the money with me," I gave her my most winning smile and caught sight of myself in the reflection of the window. It looked like someone was torturing me. 'Stop it, stop smiling right now' I told myself.

"Sorry, no money no food," she didn't look so nice now.

Someone behind me touched my shoulder and gently pushed me aside. They gave the serving women ten sickles and an order for lime sherbet and almond.

"Thank you, I will pay it you back, I--," I got a look and my rescuer and stopped my damsel in distress act. It was Remus Lupin, looking as pale and perfect as ever.

Well, I guess I shouldn't say perfect. He wasn't incredibly handsome or anything, he just has a face that would make you thing he was nice...like a saint or something. Remus the Great, my friends would call him from time to time. I had known him since first year; he had always been kind to me.

"Hello, Remus! Fancy seeing you here," I gave him a tight hug, I was surprised at how happy I was to see someone I knew.

He grinned at me, his teeth looked a bit pointed, on the wolfish side. "Miss Lily, how come I've never gotten such a warm reception before." He said.

As the serving woman handed us our sundaes he made a gesture for me to follow him to the nearest table. The woman fixed me with a motherly glare.

"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be so forward with strangers. In my day I would have never touched a member of the opposite sex...where are your..." her voice trailed off as I sat down across from Remus.

"Yes, what is a pretty girl such as you doing with strangers, Miss?" he gave me a carbon copy of the glower the witch had bestowed upon me.

"Oh, Remus, unless you want to be here until the winter hols I suggest you stay away from such topics. Let's just pretend it's a very ordinary thing for students to come to Diagon Alley this early to do their shopping," I avoided his gaze and studied my ice cream like it was spouting out the secret to self-shuffling cards.

He gracefully changed the subject. "Did you make Prefect, Lily? I was hoping to work with someone I knew," he asked.

That was Remus Lupin, always graceful and kind. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard him personally speak ill of anyone. The company he kept was a different story, but I didn't want to go and upset myself by thinking about them.

"And what other charming, gorgeous, intelligent Gryffindor would become Prefect, if I may ask. You know better than that." I gave him a real smile this time; it was nice to talk to someone who was your own age.

"A charming, gorgeous, intelligent Gryffindor? I wish you would introduce me to her, Lily...I'm in desperate need of some good companionship," he said, fixing me with innocent eyes.

I flung a bit of ice cream at him; it missed and hit the wall with a satisfying splat. I had better be careful; I wouldn't want to be known as the wild child of Diagon Alley. Not that flinging ice cream is exactly wild...

"Ah yes, Lily. You are charming indeed, the friend I've always wanted," he smirked.

"Of course, I am Remus. Besides, the company you keep now isn't much better. Really now, how many detentions do they have all together?" I arched an eyebrow at him. It probably wasn't wise of me to insult Remus's friends. They were dreadfully close with each other.

"Their detentions, Miss Lily are none of your concern. In fact, I thought I detected jealousy in your voice," it was just like Remus to brush such things right off of him.

"Touché, Remus. It _is_ good to have company like you," I was tired of the debate.

"I couldn't agree more," he said.

I wouldn't mind having Remus for company the next couple days. In fact, it seemed like the best thing to happen to me yet.

"You never said why _you_ were here either," I readied myself to hear Remus tell me a story. When he told you about his life he always made it entertaining.

Instead of an explanation he just smiled at me. "A toast, Lily too subjects best left alone." He gently toasted his spoon to mine.

So he did have some secrets. Maybe he wasn't St. Remus after all. I would enjoy finding out.

**Author's Note: **6 reviews and none of them flames! Thank you, a million times over. If you have any concerns about this becoming a Lily/Remus story, don't. I have plans for them....

**French Translation:** Much love.


	4. Chapter 3 Trial and Error

_Recap:_

I wouldn't mind having Remus for company the next couple days. In fact, it seemed like the best thing to happen to me yet.

"You never said why _you_ were here either," I readied myself to hear Remus tell me a story. When he told you about his life he always made it entertaining.

Instead of an explanation he just smiled at me. "A toast, Lily too subjects best left alone." He gently toasted his spoon to mine.

So he did have some secrets. Maybe he wasn't St. Remus after all. I would enjoy finding out.

* * *

In the back of my mind I've always had this belief that my life will turn out to be like a muggle film. A romantic and somewhat comedic show, where I meet an unconventionally handsome boy and we dance in the rain after a fight. We would hold hands and he would understand why I do the things I do, he would let me hit him when I was upset. In the week I spent with Remus I started to believe he could have some of those qualities. That the two of us _were_ like a couple in some muggle movie. I was a smart and funny ballerina with a torn-up family; he was a handsome and intelligent boy with a mysterious air.

In fact, the only thing missing from this equation was attraction. There was no spark between Remus and I, even though he was good-looking and I wasn't hideous there were just no fireworks. He was fast becoming one of my favorite people. Remus would hold my hand as we walked down the streets of Diagon Alley. When I insisted on spending three and a half hours in the second hand bookshop he simply followed me in, found a dark corner, and read. Four days after the 'ice cream incident' I decided to test whether or not sparks would come if I kissed him.

It's quite a dilemma when you want to kiss someone, but you're not sure how to do about it. I've never kissed anyone before, not even when I was small. I was Lily-the-unkissed. That was something that had always set me apart from my two friends. Alice and Linnie had been to Hogsmeade with several different boys, I knew all about their different encounters. I shouldn't say encounters—neither of them were overly experienced, just more so than I was.

So I was definitely in a dilemma, to kiss Remus and risk ruining our friendship and giving him a shoddy kiss, or to not kiss Remus and risk not knowing if we could have been more. I decided to kiss him. Tomorrow night we were taking The Knight Bus (it turns out that in order to signal the bus, you have to stick out your _wand_) into Hogsmeade, they were having a reenactment of the Salem witch trials and I thought it would be interesting to see them from a magical perspective.

* * *

"Remus, that was absolutely the worst thing I've ever paid money too see." I said as we walked out of the open-air production of 'A fever to burn', a telling of a witch named Wendelin who enjoyed being burned at the stake.

"Really, I saw a horrible production of Macbeth once. Put on by a bunch of dwarfs, terrible actors, the whole lot of them," he mused.

"I just don't understand why they didn't actually set the actors on fire. The men dressed as flames—that was completely over the top. They're wizards, for God's sake, why didn't they use their magic?" I asked him.

"I believe it was for dramatic affect," he said, his eyebrows raising dangerously close to his hairline.

"The only effect it had was on my head, the woman's screeching has given me a terrible headache," I complained. Every time somebody was 'burned' the audience was encouraged to scream along with the cast. The witch sitting next to Remus had a voice pitched one level above what dogs could hear.

"I think that what you need is a butter beer and a warm bed. We'll just pop quickly into The Three Broomsticks and then be on our way, I don't want to be traveling all night. The bus was busy today, we almost missed the show," he grabbed my hand and led me into The Three Broomsticks.

"Oh, yes. And what a tragedy that would've been," I said sullenly. I handed him a few sickles too buy the drinks; he had bought the tickets to the show.

As he chatted with the pretty bartender, Rosmerta I thought about how I should kiss him. I had decided to do it at the end of the night, as we were getting ready to go to sleep. Remus always walked me to my room before going down the hall to his—it would be the perfect time to kiss him. I had decided that open mouth kissing was fine, but no tongue involved. It was funny how I had to analyze how I was going to kiss him, it was just like doing homework, only more nerve racking.

"Here you are, milady. Two butter beers, on you," he took the seat across from me and handed me a mug.

"And a handsome serving boy, too. Will wonders never cease?" I grinned at him and took a sip.

He chuckled. "Miss Evans, just because you buy me a drink doesn't mean I'm easy. First you go off with a stranger in an ice cream parlor and now this. I'm beginning to think you're some sort of...some sort of a loose women!" he said, his tone perfectly scandalized.

"Loose women?" I said, starting to laugh. He sounded like my great aunt Sally.

"Laugh now, Miss Evans. No one will buy the cow if they can get the milk for free," he said.

"What in the hell does that mean?" I choked on a bit of butter beer. We attracted stares from the group of men playing cards by the door.

He dropped the act. "I have absolutely no idea. You, however have spat some of your butter beer onto my shirt, I think that warrants a second butter beer or even a glass of fire whiskey," he pulled at the spot where I had supposedly spat.

I gave the shirt a closer look. There was a miniscule spot on the sleeve, probably a stain.

"Remus Lupin, that is nothing but a stain. Besides, you're too young to drink," I said. It was about time to go if we wanted to be back at a somewhat decent hour.

Instead of answering me, he walked up to the bar and nonchalantly started ordering something. I watched, in awe of his persuasive power as he came back to the table with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

"How on Earth did you do that?" I asked.

"Rosmerta likes me, I've been coming here since first year with my mates. From time to time we'll order something stronger too drink," He poured me a glass and gave it too me expectantly.

"Remus, I've never had whiskey before. I'm not sure if I should," I fingered the mug, refusing to meet his eyes.

Actually, I was quite surprised that Remus drank. I'm sure that he did it rarely and in moderation, but my image of a saint was rapidly crumbling. Emerging from the dust was a picture of someone who deeply impressed me. Remus knew how to have fun, but he never had it at anyone else's expense.

"That's fine, Lily. We don't have to drink, I just thought you might enjoy a nightcap," he reached to take away my glass.

I wanted to try it, I wanted to let loose. When Alice and Linnie saw me again I would be changed—more willing to have fun.

So I downed the whole glass in one shot. It burned unpleasantly down my throat, made my eyes water. Why would anybody make drinking this a habit? It was absolutely...absolutely what? My mind was already feeling a little bit foggy.

"Slow down, Miss Lily. It's not a muggle drink. Too much, too fast will cause some damage," he sipped his quietly; it didn't seem to affect him.

I poured myself a bit more. The bottle was almost empty already. I drank what I had just put in my glass and daintily wiped my mouth.

"I'm ready to go now, Remus. Don't want to miss the bus," I shakily stood up and grabbed his hand.

After giving the driver, Ernie directions on where to go Remus guided me over too some chairs and gave me a glass of water.

"I shouldn't have let you have two glasses, Lily. Drink this water and you won't feel it as much in the morning," he said, his gaze full of concern.

I took small gulps and tried to stop the pounding in my head. What was it that I had to do tonight? Oh yes, I was going to _kiss_ Remus.

As we touched down in Diagon Alley I gave a final thought to what I was about to do. Yes, my mind decided (with the aide of whiskey, I'm sure) this was a good idea.

Remus led me down the hall to room number seven, where I was staying. He bent down slightly to give me the same kiss on the cheek he had been giving me every night. As he grazed the side of my face I moved over and brought my lips to his, opening my mouth automatically, thoughts of how much I was going to kiss him forgotten.

He pulled me towards him a little, and encircled his hands around my waist. Remus gently pushed his tongue into my mouth and he nibbled on my lips. I moaned slightly and backed up against the door, combing my fingers through his hair. From what Alice had told me, boys liked it when you gave an equal amount of effort in kissing. He pushed his hips against mine and I realized how much he was enjoying what was happening. I gasped a little, and was just deciding to let him into my room when he backed away. The gasp I had made seemed to jolt him back to reality.

"Lily...we can't, I mean, we're _friends_, Lily. You've had too much to drink. I'm sorry, I should go," he turned away and too his room.

Well, one thing was for certain, I thought as I lay down to sleep. There was definitely a spark between us.

* * *

The next morning I met Remus for breakfast like nothing had happened. After seeing my face, he ordered us both strong cups of coffee. I thanked the server when she brought out the coffee and the fried egg sandwich I had been eating since I got here and yawned.

Remus was watching me quietly over his newspaper. I took a big gulp of coffee and winced—I had more of a headache than I did last night. My first hangover, an event to be remembered.

"Lily, about what happened last night...I'm really sorry. I just lost control for a moment. You had too much to drink and I took advantage of that. We're friends, Lily," his tone seemed a bit desperate, it bothered me how much more that kiss seemed to mean to me than too him. He was nodding to himself as though he was agreeing for me; I had never seen Remus act like this before.

"_I_ will decide when I've had too much to drink, Remus Lupin. Last night's kiss was good for me...I don't know about you but I _enjoyed it_, I don't understand why you don't want to do it again," I glowered at him.

He pushed the hair back from his eyes and sighed. "Lily, you know James fancies you. You know he's fancied you since third year. I'm his friend, Lily. I can't do that to him," he said, looking at me earnestly and bidding me to understand him.

James Potter. Captain of the Quidditch team, at the top of his class, and all around jackass. He was one of the reasons I hated egotistical people so much, he was one of the reasons I didn't date. Nobody wanted to date someone Potter fancied, because nobody wanted to get on his bad side. I added Remus to the list of reasons why I should hate Potter.

"If he's really your friend, Remus he won't mind that we see each other. You know I can't stand him, there's no chance between us. It's you that I...it's you that I want," I said quietly.

He looked as though he was going to reply, but suddenly an owl landed right in the middle of our table. It held two letters, both addressed to me. Ignoring Remus for the moment, I opened the first one up.

Lily,

It's good to hear that you're taking a much needed vacation. I asked daddy about whether he had heard anything about a young witch breaking the law. He said that unless you had mass murdered a colony of frogs, no he hadn't heard anything. Sadly, I'm not coming to Diagon Alley until the day before the term starts. It's taken me quite a while to get back to you because we are in Japan. I'm not sure why, it has to do with daddy's job. Mother has opened a new shop and I've bought yours and Lin's Christmas present. It _is_ a bit early, but I thought you might like something other than the usual stock of books and socks this year. I hope you've found some company.

Love,

Alice

"Who's it from?" Remus asked.

"Alice, she says she bought me some lingerie and that she hopes I've haven't murdered any frogs lately," I really wasn't in the mood to make sense and I enjoyed the look on Remus's face.

When he didn't respond I continued. "I really hope you aren't picturing me in lingerie, killing little tadpoles," I said.

I just laughed uneasily and I opened the next letter, from Belinda.

**Dear Lily, **

**I hope you're well when you get this letter and that you haven't been taken into custody for attacking Vernon. He _does_ sound rather unpleasant. I'm guessing you've gotten Alice's letter by now and have heard she won't be able to visit you. It sounds like she's having a marvelous time in Japan, I'm very jealous. You can't imagine the boredom I've had to endure with my parents...or maybe you can, considering you've been in Diagon Alley all by yourself. Mother and Father don't understand the importance of spending time with friends and as a direct result I'm not allowed to live the rest of the summer in a hotel room with you. I've sent you five galleons, just in case you're running out of money. Don't worry about paying me back, I was worried about you and kept having dreams where you looked suspiciously like a hobo. I can't have unclean and homeless friends, at least not too many. Meet me at Gringott's the day before school starts, we'll find Alice and do some last minute shopping and socializing. Take care of yourself. **

**Love from,**

**Belinda**

It sounded just like Belinda, concerned but with a solution. I could just picture her writing the letter in her pink bathrobe, her blonde hair braided back neatly. I missed my friends more than I had thought. True to her word, Belinda's letter contained five golden coins to last me the rest of the summer and buy me a few more school supplies.

I looked up at Remus. "We can talk more about this later. I've just realized how much I've neglected being a girl. I'm going to buy some new robes, meet me in my room at 3," I said. Before he could get a chance to object I swept out of the room.

It was time for me to do something I truly enjoyed. Clothes shopping.

**Author's Note: **Thank you, everyone for the reviews. I tried to make this chapter a little longer, but when I read through it sounded rushed. If anyone would be willing to beta I would appreciate it.


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